Discussion post: Novel length -- The Domesticverse, part 2

[kate-the-reader.livejournal.com]

This second part of the discussion of gyzym's Domesticverse, Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home) includes parts 5, 7 and 8. We'll discuss part 6 in the rare pair week.
Part 5: pressed against the pending physics of my passed down last name
part 7: life long local foreigner, i
part 8: having let go forever the fallacy of ever being alone

Once again, msbrightsidesh and I really enjoyed discussing these chapters, which are, if possible, even lovelier than the earlier ones.
SO MANY FEELS!

Comments

RE: Re: Unhappy families

[kate-the-reader.livejournal.com]

I always feel that awful as Eames's family is, so chilly, so distant, so proper, Arthur's family is worse. Because they outwardly look so "loving" and they aren't not loving, but they're so mean to Arthur (other than Rachel), so dismissive of who he actually IS, always telling him he should be different than what he is. I hate how his mother can't stop herself from harping on the past, bringing up ancient slights and instances when Arthur fell short.
It's really miraculous that Eames manages to not say worse things when his heart is breaking all the time for the little boy Arthur was, in his too big T-shirts and terrible haircuts, and the man he is, who looks after his family materially, and isn't even that negligent with time. And Eames still manages to be far nicer to Arthur's family than most of them deserve! I hope they all felt terrible when they reflected on their behavior afterwards.
At Eames's family's home, Arthur realised that Eames has had to make himself into the man he is, soft, and warm and open and self-aware, the opposite of his family. Eames realised that Arthur has created himself, too: competent, and responsible and quiet, self-contained, and elegant.

Re: Unhappy families

[msbrightsidesh.livejournal.com]

So well said Kate!
I agree, I think Arthur's family is worse, because, as Eames notes, their love is conditional. Eames never had much love from his family at all, true, but at least he didn't have to watch and see adoration turn into disapproval as he turned into the person he is now.
Eames's family is cold and distant because they don't really know better, I suppose, awful, but something to distance yourself from more easily, perhaps. Arthur's family are mean on purpose, they very much know what they're saying, they know what they are doingto Arthur and I think in a twisted way, they enjoy doing it in front of Eames. Especially Hannah and Sarah, I think, are keen on making Arthur look especially bad in front of Eames, as if they're out to destroy one of the only loving relationships Arthur has. They don't understand, of course, that Eames's love works entirely different from theirs, that he loves Arthur both despite and for things and that Eames knows Athur so much better than they do, now. I think what Arthur's family really doesn't understand is that Eames IS his family now, that Arthur isn't somehow unable to be part of a family, but that it is actually them who are at fault for their enstrangement (is that a word?).

Re: Unhappy families

[kedgeree11.livejournal.com]

That phrase about Arthur's parents' love being conditional was honest-to-god revelatory for me, because I've never heard that experience described so succinctly.

Re: Unhappy families

[flosculatory.livejournal.com]

I completely agree. I had to stop myself there for a moment and really think about what that meant and all that entailed and how it would feel to grow up in that environment, oh my god.

Re: Unhappy families

[earlgreytea68.livejournal.com]

Yes, absolutely right, Arthur's family doesn't get that he could move on from them. They actually really resent the entire concept, the idea that he could get out from under them. I feel like that's why there's so much resentment about infrequent visits and conversations, because they realize that Arthur managed to slip away and build a life where he doesn't revolve around their harping at him, and that's unacceptable to them, so I feel like they're extra-vicious in the face of the thing that has become Arthur's family.

RE: Re: Unhappy families

[silverstorm666.livejournal.com]

And arthurs also made himself to be so extremely loyal, too, in direct opposition to his family who has shown almost no loyalty at all. Which makes his interactions with cobb actually make more sense. Because even though cobb treated him poorly, arthur is loyal to him, and so is willing to forgive that cobb didnt "fulfill his expectations". Maybe to arthur, to do anything else would feel too much like becoming like his own family.

Re: Unhappy families

[gessorosso.livejournal.com]

I think that's a good point! I wondered how Arthur could be so confident in himself (even though we are shown that he isn't always) with how his family treated him. But I think you are right he is trying to not become like his family and trying not to let hos family influence him. So he chooses to be loyal and confident because that is exactly the opposite of his family.

Re: Unhappy families

[earlgreytea68.livejournal.com]

Oooh, excellent point!! Cobb turned out not to be entirely what Arthur expected, maybe, but Arthur is determined not to let that deter him. It's striking and lovely that Arthur's experience with his family actually seems to have made him into an extraordinarily excellent person to be loved by.

Re: Unhappy families

[kedgeree11.livejournal.com]

The moment when Arthur realizes how wrong he's been about Eames, how hard Eames has had to work to become the warm, loving, open man he is, is where I completely *lose my shit* with this fic and I'm weepy the rest of the way! I love that part SO MUCH. I also love when Arthur wonders for a moment if his own coldness was his initial draw for Eames--like "here's someone I can fuck with a bit" -- but also that he immediately dismisses the idea because it doesn't even matter at this point.

Re: Unhappy families

[flosculatory.livejournal.com]

"but also that he immediately dismisses the idea because it doesn't even matter at this point." - YES, EXACTLY.

Re: Unhappy families

[earlgreytea68.livejournal.com]

Second kudos of that point.

Re: Unhappy families

[earlgreytea68.livejournal.com]

I don't think they feel terrible, because I don't think they have enough self-awareness to ever feel terrible. Which might be why Eames doesn't waste much of his breath having it out with him, but I'm with you, Eames is way nicer than I could ever have managed to be under similar circumstances.